Sunday, July 27, 2008

Paranoia in the 80s

Shock Shock Horror Horror
Wait, WHAT did you just say about my post about paranoia?? Why are you extracting my thoughts from my brain. I know the FBI is watching each of my keystrokes as I type this out.

But anyway...

On to a lovely trio of awesome 80s songs that deal with those little fears we like to call full-blown paranoia. Seriously, how much blow did people do in the 80s to get this freaked out about everything? I'd tell you how I came up with this list, but then I'd have to kill you.

Men at Work - Who Can It Be Now?
Before Colin Hay was the darling of Garden State followers everywhere, he was the lead singer of this band who comes from a land down under. You can practically hear the beads of sweat rolling off his forehead as his lyrics plead for the stranger outside to stay away. I hate to be a buzzkill, but if you really want to know "Is it the man come to take me away? Why do they follow me?", just open the damn door!

Corey Hart - Sunglasses at Night
Instead of accepting the lead role in Back to the Future, Mr. Hart slunk back to his dark and dank apartment with a renewed dedication to encouraging improper use of sun-protective gear around the world. He wears his sunglasses at night, for what better way is there to stalk your girlfriend whom you're sure is up to no good? Side note: Corey Hart is really, really surprisingly hot. I realized that I was picturing Corey Feldman singing the song this whole time!

Rockwell - Somebody's Watching Me
Is the neighbor watching?? The mailman? The IRS? Rockwell's pretty much afraid of everyone, despite being the son of Berry Gordy and getting Thriller-era Michael Jackson himself to lay down the vocals for the chorus. Instead of taking some good ol' neuroleptics to ease his troubled mind, Rockwell prefers to indulge his fantasies and neglect his personal hygiene. "When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid to wash my hair. Cause I might open my eyes and find someone standing there." No, it's just the fashion police reminding you that the Jheri curl is epic fail.

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